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So it just occurred to me that maybe the reason I haven't been experiencing "fullness of joy" is because I don't pray enough. I read the Bible a lot, but I never really pray very often, so it's been a one way conversation. Obviously the Lord wants me to be communicating with him. So, I am going to try to pray more often, and see how it goes. By the way, I was praying earlier on today, and the wall was gone! But I also tried to make my heart clean before the Lord, and asked Him to show me what (sin) was in the way of our relationship, so I don't know if that had anything to do with it.

There is no way that God is not working in my life either, because there's a bunch of stuff which I've been really wondering about, and I've asked God to show me what he says about it, and recently I've been reading, and I'll come upon a verse, and it's the direct answer to my question. God is so gracious and patient with me!

Another thing is, I guess God really can work through me, because, well, look at Peter. He was a guy who was always quick to speak, always putting his foot in his mouth, always tripping up and trying to bite off more than he could chew, in fact, he denied Christ! (Probably something which I would do in that kind of situation. I really need God's help in this area.) Anyways, if God could change Peter into someone who was not afraid to speak up for Him, someone who would lead thousands of souls to Christ, someone who would later die a martyrs death for Him, I think He can change me into something which He can use. It's just a matter of if I will allow Him to work through me.